Introduction

I've set up this blog, to get to the routes of my SH. I need to stop & best off all, I want to. if anyone actually reads this, then I hope you understand, Don't post anything stupid.

The facts.

Sex: male
Age: 16
Doing: A levels, ( Maths, Physics & ICT )

Ok first off all, I'm going to write about my self, it helps me understand me more.

First time I SHed was around 5 years ago, Found out a friend was cutting her self, no idea why, couldn't understand, I was there for her, then. I tried it to try and make her feel not alone. Did not work out quit so well, as she stopped I continued. but I shortly stopped after about a year, it left scars, had to hide this for up to 3 years, ( Maybe built up pressure? ). I know self harm badly.

Events leading to SH, ( I believe )

GCSE's where ok, ALLOT of hassle from teachers about CW. Allot of phone calls home, parents taking things off me, like my playstation, pc & internet, worst time was up to a month, grounded, no internet, no playstation, no computer, was just aloud to watch TV. worst reason, I kicked a ball not so long ago into a tree, it got stuck. I was with a friend from Spain, so I was having fun, so I grabbed a brush and started throwing it up into the tree to knock it down, laughing, also bouncing on my trampoline. ^^ was such a good laugh, then my dad comes out and plays hell at me IN FRONT of my friend, I was so embarrassed I just couldn't do anything, he then said I'm "barred" as he calls it, meaning no nothing other than TV, WHILST MY MATE WAS OVER!! I was fuming. so I tried to argue my way out of it, he just doubled it from a week to two weeks. he said i had to apologize for being "immature", fuck him.

Then my dad left, because my mum found out he was cheating, although he didn't leave then, he actually continued cheating, the women then phoned my mum to apologize and tell her. they argued for months, my dad getting drunk, they eventually decided to call it quits. and my dad moved out.

My A levels starting, fun! ( O_o ). So much pressure around my A levels, "you only get one chance" "You should really consider you choices", "You should just quit now and get a job instead of waste 2 years of you life". I'm doing ok, I'm passing them, ill show them I'm not a fucking waste.

Family, Great. AHAHA no. right, i wake up. my 2 year old brother screams form 6:00 am till 8:00am non stop, my mum shouts at my sister ( age 11 ) to leave my brother alone. my sister then shouts back, and arguments start. that's the basic morning for me as i lie in my bed lifeless, as i can't sleep on nights. well, i cba writing any more, got a film to watch. + my foot is aching >_<.